DWTS: The Final Results Show! The Season 14 Champion is….

Well, here we are, Dance Fans!  It’s the night we’ve all been waiting for.  It is the last night of Dancing With the Stars, Season 14.  Ten weeks of hard work has come down to this night.

Here we go….

Oh!  Professional dancers on the stage!  Are they going to reveal their celebrities too?  Here comes the troupe, too!

There are just a whole bunch of really pretty bodies moving on that stage right now!  Lots and lots of yumminess.

Oh, here come the Celebrities!!! And streamers!!  What is a finale without streamers?!

All of the finalists are in pink and black.  The streamers are pink and black.  Brooke and Tom are in pink and black.

Do you all sense a theme here?  If you do, can you let me in on what that theme is?  Or did they just realize that there were a lot of pink and black costumes this year?

Lots of cheering and clapping and smiling and impromptu dancing.  It looks like a lot of fun.

We take a break from that – likely so they can clean the stage – to watch the video recap of last night’s performances.  I always love the behind the scenes stuff – it’s interesting to hear what they say to each other before and after the dances.

So we come back from the commercial to go into an Encore Dance from Donald and Peta.  That truly was a really great freestyle.  That one is likely to go down as an all-time favorite.  I think it should, actually.

“With the scores so close, your votes will play a big part…”  Really, Tom?  Our votes will determine the winner!

Of course, we have to spend some time listening to the judges talk about the finalists.  Again, I’m sure it’s to give the over-worked stage hands time to reset the stage for the next performance.

Here come the finalists!!  They bring each of the three couples out to stand on small pedestals.  All of them look so very serious.

After the commercial, we move right into the backstage/rehearsal footage of Sherri Shepard’s dance.  She gets to dance with a whole bunch of men!  She’s in Heaven right now.   She’s really doing GREAT.  Oh, and Tony and Maks come flying in from the catwalk on wires.  It’s very clear that she is enjoying this a whole hell of a lot!  That was a fun dance.

The Story of a Season:  Now they do a bit of a retrospective of the entire season…looking back to the beginning before people starting getting eliminated.  But, of course, the good feelings can only last so long…they start going through the eliminated stars.

Yes, let’s bring these folks back for the fun of the Finale…and remind them of the disappointment of being sent home.  It’s kind of like listening to a Nikki Minaj song – it’s all sweet and lovely at first and then suddenly the spawn of Satan is singing!

Brooke is checking in with the finalists backstage as they are getting in their final bits of rehearsal before having to dance.  First a chat with William and Cheryl.

Okay…what in the heck is Martina doing while Tom is doing the introductions?  Playing tennis?  Playing with the audience?  Martina, sweetie, the cameras are on! Her dance in the last week, unfortunately, was about the same as her dance in the first week…not that great.

Jack and Anna are up next…and of course, Jack’s shirt is open to his navel.  And Anna’s navel and a whole lot more are on display.  Yay!  **Ahem**

Another montage from the earlier parts of the season….and then a replay of Gavin’s “stranded on an island with women and coconuts” Samba.  He not only gets to dance with Karina, but Sharna, Oksana, and Emma join him as well.  He’s a happy man.

Brooke is now going to interrupt Katherine and Mark during their rehearsals.  Sherri Shepherd was right…they look like orange sherbert!

The Story of a Season: More retrospective from the season focusing on some of the mishaps and injuries; also some highlights and lowlights.  Also the eliminations of Sherri, Gavin, and Gladys.

But that transitions us right into Gladys and Tristan!  Oh, but I do love that little leprechaun!  And Gladys, is actually killing this dance right now!  Great stuff!  Tristan is going to Vegas to join the show out there!  (I really want to see that.)

Jaleel is now back with a very silly dance spoof of Shaft…the best part of that is Kym saying, “J White!”  They are joined by troupe members for a Paso Doble.   He’s surrounded by blondes.   He’s actually doing very well in this dance…until it came time for the lift.  (Whoops!)  Right now, Kym is laughing her ass off at Jaleel’s mistake – it seems like he forgot about the lift.  She went to jump up, he wasn’t ready.

Once again we return from commercials and Brooke interrupts Donald and Peta to ask silly questions.

Melissa, Maks and Val now come out to the floor to reprise their trio dance.   Another chance for Melissa to be grabby with some Ukranian hunks.  She looks like she’s having a good time.  Honestly, the rest since elimination has done some good for her.  They ended with the boys grabbing Melissa’s ass!

Roshon and Chelsie get to come back to do their freestyle dance.  That’s great…the freestyle was likely to be his strongest dance if he’d made it to the finals.  It’s a good dance…upbeat, energetic, fast.  Of course, he’s had a bit of extra time to work on it…so it should be good.  And it was good.  Very good, in fact.

More commercials and then we end up returning to singing from Kelly Clarkson.  Yay!!  I love me some Kelly Clarkson!  I wish she would be on DWTS.

Who will be dancing?  Ah…Tristan and Anna; Tony and Kym.  The troupe joins them for “Stronger” – Sharna!  Yum!  **Ahem**

Tom and Kelly do a bit of plugging for Duets.  I’m thinking about watching that one and recapping it until the next DWTS season.  What do you think?  Should I do it?

The Story of a Season:  I really hate to break it to Melissa…the cyclone at Coney Island was just that.  It was NOT a pretty dance.   More of Maria’s dances – I was really sad to see her eliminated.  I really, really was.

Looks like Maria and Derek are back to dance their Argentine Tango again. I’m super  glad that she left her hair down…she looks more sultry that way and I think it’s more fitting.  Once again, it was perfect – Maria and Derek’s way of saying, “Now, WHY weren’t we in the finals?  Hmm??”

Tom and Brooke give more information about next season – the return of the All Stars.  Some favorites and some controversial!  Oh, dear.  I’ve heard rumors of Kate Goslin returning.  I’m of two minds – I’ll either be unable to watch the show OR it will be FABULOUS blogging fodder!  🙂

As they went into commercial, they showed the three couples standing together – they look like a bowl of tropical rainbow sherbert.  They really do.  William/Cheryl is the Pineapple; Katherine/Mark is the Orange, Donald/Peta is the Raspberry.

Separated at birth?  Hmmmmm……

It’s finally time for the final dances.

William and Cheryl dancing the Salsa.

• They’ve chosen the Salsa to dance for their final dance of the season.
• Another opportunity to shake his ass.
• William comes sliding in on his knees…leaving dark marks – or even holes – in his nice white pants.  The wardrobe people probably aren’t happy.
• Well, it was a Salsa.  It looked like he had some slips, but I’m sure the judges are going to love it.
• Len:  “If Salsa and rhythm were in the Olympics, you’d get a gold medal.”
• Bruno:  “When it comes down to hot, saucy, sexy, spicy Salsa, hips don’t lie.  Nobody does it better than William.”
• Carrie Ann:  “They don’t call you Team Fuego for no reason.”  “You have true star quality.”
• 10 from Carrie Ann; 10 from Len; 10 from Bruno
• Perfect 30 out of 30

Katherine and Mark dancing the Jive.

• The jive makes Katherine happy…so that’s the final dance for them.
• Len might not like that break dancing move at the beginning, Mark.  Then again…he might.
• This is a good looking Jive.  Once again, excellent technique, I think.
• Katherine and Mark are always great and ending right on the beat.
• Bruno: “Katherine, the blonde bomb shell…a truly, truly, stunning, stunning dancer.”
• Carrie Ann:  “I don’t know what to say to you but thank you.  You two set the bar so high.”
• Len:  “I tell you, Katherine, you are the complete package.”
• 10 from Carrie Ann; 10 from Len; 10 from Bruno
• Perfect 30 out of 30

Donald and Peta dancing the Cha Cha.

• “It was a bloomin’ good journey.” – Peta is so darned quotable.
• I really like Peta – she’s such a tomboy, but she’s such a girl.
• Let’s see how Donald can do here.
• Oh, the shirt came off and was handed to Carrie Ann…he’s trying to get the points.
• There are some moments of the dance that were a little too hesitant, I think.  But I’m sure the judges will give them 10s.
• Carrie Ann:  “You are such a fierce competitor.”  “I think you are the one to beat.”
• Len:  “No one’s a loser tonight.”  “We’ve had some great footballers on this show….my feeling is your the best we’ve had.”
• Bruno:  “Another massive hit for Donald the magnificent.”
• 10 from Carrie Ann; 10 from Len; 10 from Bruno
• Perfect 30 out of 30

Look at how easily the final dances become simply irrelevant.

I think that was a cop out on the part of the judges.  Each and every one of those dances could have scored at least one 9 and not been underscored – yes, every one.  In reality, none of those dances were actually perfect.  Really damned good, but not perfect.  This is just a way for the judges to completely take the responsibility of the outcome out of their hands and off of their shoulders.

“Don’t look at us!  The fans voted!  We didn’t decide!”

Don’t get me wrong…I’m not a “judge hater” like some of the DWTS fans out there.  I don’t think that we should eliminate the judges.  On the contrary, I think that fan votes count for too much of the overall score.  Our votes should only be 30% – at most – of the final tally if this competition is truly going to be about dance ability/improvement.

Okay…I’m off my soapbox now.

After the commercial, Gladys is going to sing.  Because, of course, they need to prolong the agony.  They’re tabulating the votes and will reveal the 3rd place winner in a few minutes.

But first – GLADYS!  She’s singing “The Way We Were.”  I think they could do away with the music and just let her sing.  Aw…images of the three finalists on big screens…dancing throughout the season.  And it’s making them all cry…particularly Katherine.  Lovely rendition, Gladys!  Even if the DWTS gurus did cheese it up a bit for you.  (Hey, is this foreshadowing?)

Aw, even the eliminated contestants are all teary!

And now – one finalist is about to be eliminated.

The couple landing in THIRD place is…WILLIAM AND CHERYL.

William’s little boy, Christopher, is just inconsolable.  Poor thing.  He so wanted his daddy to win.

Mirror Ball Memories for William and Cheryl.  A fun look back at their season.

And they go to a commercial!!!  Tom’s worried about the clock, but they go to a commercial!!!

ARGH!!!

It’s down to Katherine and Donald.

It really could go either way.  They both have strong fan bases.  The Packer Nation came to play!  But, so did the Brits!  Transatlantic voting has been in full force!

So here it is…we’re down to it….hold your breath!

THE NEW CHAMPIONS OF DANCING WITH THE STARS ARE….DONALD AND PETA!!

The Packer Nation came through!  The Packer nation came through!

That was all about votes.

Statistically, Katherine was the better dancer and all around competitor.  Donald, however, showed pure determination, dedication, and drive this entire season.  He was charming and he had a fabulous attitude.  But it was the Packer Nation – and likely the entire NFL – that really brought out the vote.

I’m really happy for Peta – more happy for her than for Donald, actually.  After the crap partner she had in Season 13 (Meta World Peace, aka Ron Artest, aka an asshole), it’s nice to see that the producers were right in making her a pro.  She, too, has that great personality and work ethic.  (Don’t tell Edyta and Karina, I think Peta looks much better in her “almost-a-full-dress” costumes.  Though, Karina is pretty hot in those, too.)

Katherine and Mark should definitely not feel bad about their 2nd place finish.  Considering that Katherine was a virtual unknown when she started this competition, she has won much more than a Mirror Ball.  I believe she has truly captured the heart of the US.  Book a tour out here, Katherine.  We’ll fill every seat in the house.

So, what did you think about the results tonight?  Did the right person get the trophy?  Are you demanding a recount?  Speak up and speak out!