Ann McMan is another author participating in the Guest Blog Project (GBP) who I have not officially met. I was in her presence, however. Yes, I was in the same room. I shared space with her. Not personal space, mind you. I wouldn’t want Salem beating my ass – especially since she’s participating on my panel at GCLS this year. But I was near enough to bask in her presence. (OMG, that sounds creepy.)
I’ve learned from listening to and reading Ann’s words that she is really just delightful! When I asked her to participate in the GBP, she did not hesitate. In fact, she quickly added me as a friend on Facebook as if it was a travesty that we weren’t already connected via social media. I read Dust in 2012 and really enjoyed it – it was well written, nicely plotted, intelligent. How refreshing! Yes, the rest of her oeuvre is on my “to-read” list. (And how impressed are you that I used “oeuvre” in a sentence? Floored the hell out of me!)
Read further to learn about Ann’s first foray into the world of GCLS Conferences.
GCLS and Speed Dating:
How a Shy Person with French Diseases of the Soul Took a Chance,
and Ended Up Meeting Lots of Really Nice People
Quick. What are the five top questions most people ask about Ann McMan?
- Who the hell is Ann McMan?
- Why is that woman hiding behind a potted palm?
- How did she manage to hook somebody like Salem West?
- Does she really think macaroni & cheese is nature’s most nearly perfect food?
- Is it true that attending GCLS last year changed her life?
For answers to these and other probing questions, continue reading.
[For our Evelyn Wood laureates out there, here is the abridged answer key. 1. Me. 2. She’s terrified. 3. Luck and good lighting. 4. Yes. 5. Of course.]
Last June, I packed up my fear and panic, and headed west to an outpost on the fringe of western civilization: Minneapolis. Heard of it? Mary Tyler Moore put it on the map for us back in 1970. (I think she also gets the nod for introducing the pantsuit…but don’t tell Hillary Clinton.)
Anyway. GCLS was holding its annual conference in the Twin Cities, and I was going. I was still considered a “new author,” even though I had published two books, and a third was burning rubber on its way across country to arrive at the conference venue ahead of me. I guess I understood that—I mean, I did sort of appear out of nowhere. And, to be fair, I really hate conferences. A lot. I mean…I avoid them like Brussels sprouts on a hot bar.
But I had Salem, who is smart and savvy, and who knows how to pack five days’ worth of clothes into one, tiny carry-on bag (without anything getting wrinkled). And I had Barrett, who was the seasoned Con Veteran, and who was ever ready with a trusty, well-placed cattle prod. So I bundled up my fears and insecurities, pulled on my big-girl Carhartts, and headed out for my first gawking tenure at lesfic’s jewel in the crown event.
Books of mine were nominated for three awards, and that fact only compounded my angst. I felt like a rube. I mean…there I was in the midst of the luminaries of our genre—authors like KG MacGregor and Susan X. Meagher. People I’d actually been reading for years. On my first day, I was plopped down on a “mystery” panel with Elizabeth Simms, Ellen Hart, and Lori Lake…as a presenter—not a paperweight. I kept pinching myself beneath the table, because I was sure that someone had made a mistake. I think Lori Lake (who was seated next to me) must have noticed this. She kept shooting me these odd glances, like she could sense that I was a hair’s breadth away from throwing up on her shoes. This, of course, was before she tagged me with the moniker “panty-liner,” since I am both a “pant-ster” and an “outliner” when it comes to how I write.
So even though I was incredibly nervous, I did what I do. I closed my eyes and summoned up my inner lounge singer. And I doubt that anyone other than Salem knew that I was popping Xanax like Tic Tacs.
Well…Barrett probably knew, too. She’s an ex-nurse with about fifty sets of eyes…all of them capable of seeing through lead. [n.b. If you plan on attending this year, remember to pack your titanium Spanx.]
As much fun as it was to participate in workshops, it was even more gratifying to attend them. Ellen Hart could’ve stood in front of a room and conjugated verbs for two hours, and I’d have paid the entire conference fee—twice—for the privilege of listening to her.
But, I gotta say that the best part of the entire experience for me, apart from getting kissed by keynote speaker, Jewel Gomez (I think she likes lounge singers), was getting to know the readers—and playing swap-shop with them during the catered lunches. Let me just say that you learn things about people when you watch them sit down at a table full of strangers and crack open a boxed lunch. On the first day, I discretely slid my apple over to rest in front of Salem’s box. In the blink of an eye, there were nearly two-dozen apples piled there. It quickly became clear that apples were not as hot a commodity as potato chips. And who knew there was an entire hierarchy in how potato chip brands ranked as currency?
Having said as much, I fully expect averages for this year’s Potato Chip Exchange to surpass the NASDAQ record for most shares traded on a single day.
And for those of you planning to attend, here’s a useful tip for 2013: try to sit next to Bev Prescott. She will ALWAYS be willing to swap her bread, her cheese, her mayo, her cookie, her room key, or her chips for any fruit product.
Er…did I say “room key” out loud?
Sorry, Bev…
So, did attending GCLS really change my life? Well. No. But what it DID change was my understanding of this great, welcoming, and terrifically accomplished community of writers and readers we all belong to and live to support. So, if you’re on the fence about whether or not attending GCLS will be the right thing for you to do—don’t be. Take the plunge. You’ll have a blast. You’ll meet great people who will become lifetime friends. You’ll learn some new things. You won’t regret it. And you’ll want to go back year after year.
And, hey? You can sit next to me at lunch…
Ann McMan is the author of three novels, Jericho, Dust, and Aftermath, and the short story collection Sidecar. In 2011, Ann, along with her novels Jericho and Dust was elected to The Royal Academy of Bards Hall of Fame. In 2012, she was awarded the Alice B. Lavender Certificate for outstanding maiden novel. Her story collection Sidecar won the 2012 Rainbow Award for Best Lesbian Contemporary General Fiction, and Jericho won Honorable Mention in the same category. Both Jericho and Dust were finalists for Golden Crown Literary Awards in 2012.
Sooooo…Ann has upped the ante here. How awesome!
Ann has proposed a little extra fun – if 20 people leave comments on her blog, she will pick a winner from the commenters. What will the winner get?
A autographed copy of one of Ann’s books, a bag of Cheetos, AND you’ll get to sit next to Bev Prescott at lunch! A completely awesome prize, I must say!
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VIA ANN MCMAN:
WE HAVE A WINNER in the Frivolous Minds/GCLS Blog-Off!
There was a grand total of 51 posts by 41 commenters. The independent accounting firm of Price Waterhouse tabulated the results, and drew the winning name.
T. Mathews, come on down! You win the big box of Cheetos (your choice of style), a seat next to Bev Prescott at lunch during GCLS (bring an apple), AND your choice of an autographed copy of any of my books…unless you’d rather have something by Jane Austen (personally, I’d go for one of those)!
Shoot me a message here, or contact me at ann.mcman@gmail.com to claim your prize. A BIG thank you to everyone for supporting GCLS!
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Congrats!
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Silly me. I opt to drive across the country, seeking out women’s soccer (game postponed), the joys of road construction in Ohio, neurotic drivers in an unnamed Eastern state (I’m just too polite to say), and some quiet time in P-Town, only to find out that the best blog I’ve read in a long time had a potential reward of CHEETOS!! But only if I commented three days ago instead of now…ah well. I guess I’ll just return to “Dust” and console myself there.
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This was fun to read. I would love a free copy of Ann’s newest book and some Cheetos, but I think I’m way too late, plus, I’m not going to get to go to the conference this year. 😦 Hopefully next year. 🙂
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I thought I had left a comment, but apparently, not so much. So, here’s take two.
Loved the blog and it only made me want to go to GCLS all that much more — especially if there are apples to be had and foliage camouflaged as Ann McMan.
Great blog.
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What a truly fun idea. ; )
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I love to discover new (to me) authors!! (and i love cheetos!)
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Who could turn down this offer? It’s a trifecta!
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Hmm…how can I fully express how much I love your books? Let’s just say that I love your books more than shoes!
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If Ann was wearing a hat like the one in her Facebook photo, she would be sure to attract attention. Hiding behind the foliage would be futile. In any case, the sound of Cheetos being crunched would give her away. And just as well, as such talent should certainly not be hidden.
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I think you are nifty….I think mac’n’cheese is nifty….I would share the Cheetos…..I would share the Book AFTER I had read it several times!
Ona
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Can’t wait to attend my first Con, and well, being a virgin again! Lol! Looking forward to meeting you Ann.
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I love Ann’s books. I love Cheetos. And I REALLY love Bev.
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Look out Dallas. Thanks for the laughs. Love your books
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I always head for the largest arrangement of potted plants but this time that corner seemed occupied and there was suspicious movement behind them. Was there a “reading” going on back there? I had to leave before I found out because there was a “glowing” woman scanning the atrium. It was atomic! Love your books and look forward to your next one.
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I was heading towards a potted plant but there was suspicious behavior going on behind it. Were you holding a “reading” in the corner? I love your books!
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Don’t know Cheetos, don’t know States, love your books!
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That explains so much about Bottle Rocket! Ann you totally make me laugh!! I am so glad that I found your work!!
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Jericho was the first lesfic novel I’ve ever read thanks to the amazing amazon kindle my gorgeous girlfriend gave me.I must say the book is still my favorite by far, and I’ve burned through hundreds since. Ann I want to thank you for the fits of giggles and stupid looking faces I wore in public whilst reading it. Luckily I wasn’t thrown into one of those sexy white jackets that make you hug yourself. Looking forward to many ( and I mean Many ) books in the fast approaching future. So open a bag of cheetos, pull a cork and get to work :p
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A chance to get an autographed copy of a book AND a box of Cheetos… How can I not say how much I enjoy reading Jericho AND Aftermath. What can I say, those are the only 2 books on my Kindle Fire HD, my IPhone, AND my Ipad, that I actually like 🙂
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I am currently engrossed in Aftermath…you have me hooked, Ann.
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I’m currently reading Aftermath…Ann, you have me hooked.
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I would love some Cheetos and a book but got this too late to have a chance. Congrats to the winner.
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You’re not too late, Peggy! I’m posting the next blog tomorrow night at 6:30pm Central time. All comments added before that next blog are eligible for the drawing!
You’re still in it! 🙂
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Last year I was a “virgin” at the Con so this year I will have graduated to a “not so virgin any more” Con person. I am SO looking forward to seeing you all again and to meeting even more authors and readers this year. Ann, I would love to have one of your books but I’ll give the Cheetos to my wife ’cause she likes them! See you all in Dallas!!
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Thanks for sharing your experiences about your first GCLS with us, Ann. 🙂
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First, I’d like to bow down to Ann. I actually bought a hard copy if Jericho after reading it online and the only other authors’ work I have done that with is S X and the late great L J Maas. Our characters in Jericho come to mind often and either heat up some parts or make me laugh. Ann, you did a wonderful job catching the interplay between these four friends. Loved the book and can’t wait to see David on the screen when it gets picked up for a screenplay. The soft Cheetos please. Lol it’s been a while. I may need to run get some.
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How did you say you met Salem West?
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Lunch with Bev you say. How delightful. GCLS Con’s rock!
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I just have to say that all of you are AWESOME! Once Carleen posts the next blog in the series, we’ll put all of the commenters names in a hat and pick the winner. I’ll contact that person and find out which book they’d like to receive — with their box of Cheetos. Thanks to everyone for participating!
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Hi!! I’d be honored to sit next to Ann and Bev for lunch!! And to trade chips :-). And to get an autographed book!!!!!!!! Woo!
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I think we are way over 20 by now.
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i have put your books on my wish list….
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I just had have to say, Jericho is one of my favorite books..and believe me, I read a lot, I know I laughed out loud, cried, then laughed some more while reading this….keep up the great work!!
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Congratulations! You’re the winner! Make sure to email Ann at ann.mcman@gmail.com to claim your prize!!
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I am siding with the apple!! If it were chedder and sour cream ruffles, well, that would be difefrent. Bev, hang on to that room key!! Oh how I wish I could come witness the shennanigans this year!
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well, I don’t know anything about cheetos but here you go
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What a great start to my Saturday morning 🙂 That was delightfully funny, Ann!
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Going to be attending The Event for the first time this year! Can’t WAIT. Your blog has really whetted my appetite.
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Ann, I know from listening to you talk that you are indeed nifty; maybe even more than nifty. You have a wonderful sense of humor and a wonderful wife 🙂 Any chance that you can tell us about the room key? I
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But Ann, why do Cheetos leave telltale orange fingers? Rocked the Con, you did!
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I’m shy so I will be behind the palm with Ann…Did I just say with Ann sorry Salem…Sounds like fun wish we could make Dallas…..
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I would gladly write something but I don’t know cheetos and I don’t know if I like them, I do however know Ann McMan is one hell of a writer. How she so skillfully spins a story with a brilliant plot including comedy and sadness is truly amazing.
A devoted fan, for sure!
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FOAM fill the room and unite!
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Are their healthy Cheetos??? Bev, hide your key in a strategic location!!!
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Love everything in that basket! WOULD LOVE to be there..
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I must say Cheetos and books are too of my most favorite things…I can eat an apple when forced. So the 50 x-ray eyes is why Barrett is always glowing? Too much radiation? I would give anything to be able to attend one of these Pow- Wows and hang out with y’all behind the bushes.
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I’m sorry I missed last year’s Con and Lori’s coining the term “panty-liner.” There are quite a few of us. And, hey, if I sit next to Bev, just to let you know, I keep my apples…But I’m willing to share the chips.
Ann, haven’t read any of your books yet, but I love your humor and will search them out. Looking forward to meeting everyone in Dallas!
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Good thing Ann didn’t include cherries in the lunch. The jokes could go south quickly.
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**rimshot**
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I am commenting. Commenting, I say!!!
I want a book. And cheetos…
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I think it’s important for people to know that THIS was where Lori Lake coined the now famous expression “Panty-Liner!”
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you know, just when I think this woman can no longer surprise me…there she goes. Folks, this is your special GCLS treat…Ann McMan!
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Well I’ve learned something. If I’m ever at an event that Ann McMan is to attend and I see neither hide nor hair of her I will head for the potted palms. She;ll know me. I’ll be wearing a F.O.A.M. button.
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Hey Mary Anne, would you mind giving me your apple before you disappear behind the potted plants with Ann? 🙂
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But the question is, Bev…does she get your room key in exchange? LOL
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LOL…
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