DWTS: All Stars – Week 2 Results show

So we have come to the “end” of another week of Dancing With The Stars – and already we can see that it’s going to be a verrrrrry interesting season.  I predict heated discussions.  I predict promises to never, ever watch the show again (how many times have some people said that each season I wonder).  I predict…well, I certainly do NOT predict the winner.

As always, we can’t just have a results show.  Oh no.  There must first be an hour of highlights, lowlights, introspection, etc.

This week, the judges chose the “break out” performance for each of the contestants (from previous seasons) and we got to listen as the stars talked about what was going on in their heads – or on the dancefloor – during each routine.

Honestly, I can’t remember all of them – I’m sure that the entire episode will be posted on the official DWTS page on ABC.com if you really want to see it.  It’s worth it.  There were some really great dances.

Here are a few that stand out in my mind, though:

  • Kelly’s costume breaking during her Samba – she was holding her boobs through a good portion of the performance to make sure that the girls didn’t come out to say hello to all of America!
  • Bristol’s fired-up Tango – she looked pissed through most of the dance because Mark said something to her beforehand that got her all stirred-up.  No mention of what it was though.
  • Helio’s Quickstep – he looked like a banana all hopped up on caffeine (which was very effective because it was a great dance).
  • Kirstie’s Waltz – remember the shoe coming off during the dance and Kirstie sitting on the floor trying to get it back on?

Again, the others were good, too…I just can’t remember them all and I really don’t want to go back through the DVR.  (It’s a work night and I’m lazy that way.)

When we finally do get to the results show, of course, we have to wait for any of the results to be announced.  *sigh*

However, they start with the encore dance – which this week is Sabrina and Louis – so I won’t complain too much.  I really liked that Quickstep!

So now, some results…the teams on the line first are Sabrina/Louis, Emmitt/Cheryl, Drew/Anna, and Joey/Kym.

All are safe….EXCEPT….Joey and Kym!

Well, I rather saw that coming.  Sabrina was the fan choice to return for this season, so she already has a backing.  Plus, she’s damned good.  Emmitt slipped a little this week, but he’s so damned likeable, that I have no doubt that he has a great fan base.  Drew’s fans got a wake-up call last week.  Now they know that they can’t sit back and relax.  Joey just wasn’t on his game last night and he sort of had a laid back attitude about it.   So, since being in jeopardy doesn’t necessarily mean having a lower overall score, it’s possible that either a) the fans didn’t kick in the votes or b) the producers want to scare him a little.

This is the time that Tom comes along with an announcement to make grown men and women come close to tears.  Next week will be a DOUBLE elimination!  So, we’ll have to deal with losing TWO of these All Stars.  The Horror!

Well, let’s just calm everyone down with a little musical performance from Cher Lloyd – a British teen who is doing pretty well on the charts right now.  She’s singing her hit “Want You Back” (though, these days, it’s probably “Want U Back” – those crazy kids), which, I admit, I happen to like.  It’s a catchy tune; it has a good hook.  She has dancers and back up singers and guys juggling on stilts.  Insanity!

Though it seems as if we should be getting more results, it’s clear that the producers want to play with our fragile psyches.  Instead, it’s the first “Macy’s Stars of Dance” performance.  There are a lot of people, in various futuristic costumes, performing various types of dance.  I don’t like it.  It’s too much.  Meh.

More results!  Or not.

Instead, the troupe comes out to perform some of the “memorable” dances from past seasons.  I think there are supposed to be three of them…Kendra what’s-her-face and Louis’ dance from some season, Helio’s quickstep from some other season, and another one.  I can’t remember.  Really, the only highlight to this was having Lacey Schwimmer (and her brother, Benji) join the troupe and do some dancin’.  I like Lacey when she dances.  She’s a little weird, but her dancing is awesome.

Okay, now we get some more results.

It’s time to learn the results for Shawn/Derek, Kirstie/Maks, Kelly/Val, and Bristol/Mark.

In jeopardy from this group…..Kelly and Val!

Oh, here we go.  Another week with Bristol in safety…blogs, forums, “entertainment” media, etc. are going to explode.  What can we tell about this group?  Shawn is everyone’s little darling, right now.  Face it, the girl can dance.  And Derek is an awesome choreographer.  So they are double trouble.  Kirstie has a pretty strong fan base – that’s going to help her when she has off weeks (as I thought this one was).  If nothing else, people will want to keep her around a) to keep Maks on the show (women love that man) and b) to keep laughing (because, face it, the woman is funny).  Kelly is…who is she again?  The season 1 champ and a soap opera star?  There are still soap operas?  Okay, I’m being obnoxious.  But, seriously, I’d never heard of her before.  I’m sure there are others in the same boat.  Bristol has a strong fan base.  There it is.  They came through for her the last time.  They’ll keep coming through for her.  This week, I think the judges really helped her out – they made it clear that a good portion of the lower scores was due to the break in hold that happened in the middle of the dance.  That is NOT Bristol’s fault.  It’s Mark’s fault.  HE is the professional.  He should know better.  So it’s very likely that she got a) a big boost from her fans (voting with multiple email addresses) and b) a good portion of sympathy votes (“She danced okay and would have gotten higher scores if the dance hadn’t broken the rules…MARK!”).

Let’s talk about this “using multiple email addresses to vote” issue.  The Bristol haters of the world are vitriolic in their criticism of the fans doing this to keep Bristol in the competition.  “Cheating!” they cry.  Now, wait a minute here.  Just hold on.  I love Donald Driver.  I think he’s a nice man, a talented dancer, and just a charming person all around.  HE did not win the Mirrorball in Season 14…The Packer Nation won that.  Katherine Jenkins was – all season – the better dancer.  Cumulatively, her scores left everyone in the dust.  But Donald won.  Katherine didn’t.  And, guess what?  I have 16 email addresses that I was using to vote for Katherine.  Yes, I admit it.  And I used all 16…on 5 different browsers.  That right there is 80 votes.  But, wait…we got at least 5 votes per email address each week.  Hm…400 votes.  Just from me.  And, guess what?  Katherine still came in 2nd.  Why?  Because the Packer Nation did it better, that’s why.

So here’s the thing…don’t spew hatred at Bristol or any of the contestants that stick around longer than they should.  If you really want to do something about it…get 16 email addresses and use all of your votes on 5 different browsers for the contestant of your choice.

To paraphrase Karin Kallmaker who paraphrased Benjamin Franklin in 1776:  This type of voting is perfectly fine in the first person.  It is only in the third person that it becomes cheating.

Alright…off my soapbox.

At this point, we move on to other things – very, very pleasant things at that.  Namely, KATHERINE JENKINS IS BACK!!  Yes, that’s right,  KJenks is back in the ballroom.  This time, however, she is singing rather than dancing.  She joins Placido Domingo in singing “Come What May” – that love song from Moulin Rouge – while Val and Anna dance.  (I do love that Trebunskaya.)  Placido and Katherine each have CDs being released this month – this song will appear on each of their respective CDs.  I’ll be buying Katherine’s.

We’ve gotten to the end of the show.  They have no choice but to continue with the results.

The remaining teams are Gilles/Peta, Melissa/Tony, Apolo/Karina, and Helio/Chelsie.

Everyone is safe…EXCEPT…Helio and Chelsie!

What’s up with this group?  The super-sexy team, Gilles and Peta, are getting the scores and the votes.  Remember that Packer Nation I was talking about?  They seem pretty loyal.  I’ll bet they are behind Peta.  (Wouldn’t we all like to be behind Peta?  I mean, what a view!  Ahem!)  Melissa and Tony are doing pretty well, too.  They’re around the middle of the pack, but Tony has a real strong fan base – they want to see him succeed.  He has a partner with whom he can do great things, so I think those fans are going to back him up.  And, hey, Melissa is charming.  Apolo is a champion and he knows how to win…big.  He’s got the drive.  He’s another one pulling down scores and votes.  Helio, while cute and  charming and talented, just isn’t as popular as the rest of the group here.  These are ALL STARS.  He’s got to be better than cute and charming and talented.  Face it, his performance last night was entertaining, but it missed the mark a bit with technique (according to the judges, and their scores count). Being in the middle of the back can cut both ways.

Now we’re down to it – the final 3 teams in jeopardy:

  • Joey and Kym
  • Kelly and Val
  • Helio and Chelsie

Which team remains safe and which are in the bottom 2?

Kelly and Val live to see another week of dancing!!!!

So it’s Joey/Kym and Helio/Chelsie in the bottom two.

The next team to be eliminated and sent home is…..JOEY AND KYM!

There it is.  Joey Fatone is out of the competition.  He has a great attitude about it – he had fun and that’s what’s important.  But I feel bad for Kym…poor thing is crying.  I’m sure she feels like she let Joey down.  But I don’t think so.  If this were any other season, yeah…this would be shocking.  But this is the All Star season.  I like Joey a lot.  But he’s not the best dancer out there.  And, clearly, he doesn’t have the fans he once did.  Pit him against 5 other men who are very, very talented and – let’s face it – very, very sexy and Joey isn’t likely to win.  😦

Next week there will be the double elimination.  This will be particularly interesting since the STARS are being given complete creative control over their routines.  Risky!  Can’t wait to see what happens!

What about you?  What are your thoughts?

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