DWTS: All Stars – Week 1 Results Show

One week down and just 9 more to go!

Last night was a great night of dancing.  On the show they were saying that this was the best season premiere ever.  Hmm.  I have to disagree.  I still think that Season 14 holds that title.  Then again, this is just my little blog…I don’t get paid bajillions of dollars to dance, choreograph, host, or judge…so what do I know?

And, perhaps, I’m really missing Katherine Jenkins and Maria Menounos right now.  (Scary fact:  Spell checker corrects “Menounos” to “Menopause”.)

The show tonight lasts 2 hours.  Of course, that means the first hour will be spent talking to the couples, showing videos, and dancing from the professionals and/or troupe.  The second hour will consist of 2 singing performances – Pitbull and Justin Beiber (Bieber?  Beeber?  Boober?  Bib-feeder? Oh, who cares?!) – more dancing by the people who know how, and results that – by the stopwatch – last 4 minutes, but get stretched out over the hour.

Oh!  Called it!  Here are the videos of the stars talking about why they wanted to come back for the All Star season.  Yes, because THAT is a question that just hasn’t been asked enough.

In a nutshell….

• Bristol – to prove herself
• Kelly – for the challenge
• Pamela – loves performing
• Joey – to beat Apolo
• Drew – it’s fun
• Apolo – for the competition
• Helio – for his daughter
• Melissa – to prove herself
• Gilles – to redeem himself
• Emmit – to be on the 1st all star show
• Shawn – for a new goal
• Sabrina – for vindication
• Kirstie – to dance

After each of the “why am I here?” videos, Tom talks to each of the couples.  Called that one too!  There are some fun tidbits:

• Mark telling Bristol: “Give that ass its own brain!”
• Val thinking Kelly worked IN a hospital rather than ON General Hospital
• Pamela saying that she wants to be on Broadway doing musical theatre (I admit – I threw up a little when she said that.)
• Joey incessantly flirting with Bruno (smart boy).
• Drew and Anna being a bit weird with each other.
• Karina outing Apolo (Mr. Competition Serious Man) as a funny jokester in rehearsals.
• Chelsie completely not knowing the difference between Portuguese and Brazilian…and Helio putting her on while keeping a completely straight face. (“Is this Chicken or Tuna?”)
• A video montage of Gilles saying over and over and over again that he’s not a dancer. (Funny.)
• Emmit and Cheryl do the encore dance!  Yay!
•  Shawn being brutalized by Derek’s short jokes.
• Kirstie and Max spying on Gilles and Peta – determining that they are the “hot couple”…so Kirstie and Maks will have to be the funny couple.

I didn’t skip Melissa and Sabrina – it’s just that nothing of note came out of their video or chat with Tom.

Finally we get to the actual results show.  Which, of course, opens with…wait for it…dancing!  The professionals and the troupe all join forces to do a really fast-paced, energetic dance.  It was fun.  I liked it.  (Peta and Maks dance together really well…the relationship is working nicely for them.)

Alright…first set of results:

• Shawn and Derek — SAFE!
• Apolo and Karina — SAFE!
• Bristol and Mark — IN JEOPARDY!
• Joey and Kym — SAFE!

This isn’t surprising – Bristol and Mark had the lowest scores of this particular group.

Pitbull performs now.  The performance actually isn’t that bad…it’s just a bit too much for me and I can’t watch the whole thing.  I get back in time for the next set of results, though.

• Helio and Chelsie — SAFE!
• Kelly and Val — SAFE!
• Drew and Ann  — IN JEOPARDY!

I find that surprising!  Drew danced one of the most popular “fan favorite” dances of all time – he should have a fan base.  And their scores weren’t that bad!  Huh!

Already, another set of results!

• Emmit and Cheryl — SAFE!
• Gilles and Peta — SAFE!
• Sabrina and Louis — SAFE!

Oh, there was an awkward moment from Tom Bergeron.  He called out Emmit and Cheryl and Gilles and Peta…then there was the dramatic pause….after which Tom said, “You’re all safe!!”  Well, of course, all THREE of the couples celebrated.  Sabrina and Louis weren’t included in that announcement.  Fortunately for Tom (and his Emmy), Sabrina was announced just moments later as SAFE.  Lucky, lucky, Tom.  That would have been bad if she’d been in jeopardy.

Now Justin Beiber (Bieber?  Beeber?  Boober?  Bib-feeder? Oh, who cares?!) performs.  I change the channel.  If you watched and know what happened, please don’t tell me.  Thank you.

Back in time for the results of the last group of dancers.

• Kirstie and Maks — SAFE!
• Melissa and Tony — SAFE!
• Pamela and Tristan — IN JEOPARDY

Well, okay, we saw that coming, didn’t we?

It comes down to the 3 couples in jeopardy:

• Bristol and Mark — SAFE!!

That leaves the last two couples at the very bottom – judges’ points, etc. combined.  This means that Drew didn’t seem to get his fan base warmed up.

Time for the final announcement.   The couple with the lowest combined score (judges, audience) is…..

PAMELA ANDERSON AND TRISTAN MCMANUS

So. Drew and Anna will get the chance to do it again.

I’m not at all surprised at the eliminated couple this week.  I think it is a good elimination.

 

What did you think about the results show?  Agree?  Disagree?