Showtime! Oscar on parade

Billy is back!  I love Billy’s montage – always witty.  He’s able to poke fun while remaining respectful.  Outstanding.  His jokes are also witty and timely.  Again, poking fun at people and the industry, while maintaining a level of respect.  Take notes here, Ricky Gervais.  This is how it’s done.

The song!  The song!!  I love when Billy sings the song for the nominated movies.  Creative, funny.  And I love that he has absolutely no qualms about saying it like it is – if you don’t win, well, you lose.

Tom Hanks presents the first awards for Cinematography and Art Direction.  Robert Richardson wins cinematography for Hugo.  I need to see this movie.  Art Direction goes to Dante Ferretti and Francesca Lo Schiavo.  I love it…”For Martin and for Italy!”  Woot!  Let’s hear it for the Italians!

There seems to be this strange tinny sound that’s coming through.  It almost sounds as if someone’s cell phone is ringing in time with people’s speech.  Weird.

I really like the montage of iconic scenes/quotes from iconic movies.  Really nice.

Ha!  “Please welcome a recurring dream of mine – Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez.”  That’s funny.  They’re presenting Costume Design and Make Up – won by Mark Bridges for The Artist and Mark Coullier and J. Roy Hilland for The Iron Lady, respectively.

Sandra Bullock…looking really amazing.  She just wonderfully personable.  Makes me want to just hang out with her.  Foreign Language Film – A Separation.

Here comes Christian Bale – still looking scruffy, but not as bad as last year. He presents the Best Supporting Actress aware to OCTAVIA SPENCER!  Yes!  Yes!  I wanted her to win.  She gets a totally deserved standing ovation.  Great, great acceptance speech.  That’s what it’s about, right there.

Okay, Christopher Guest and crew being the focus group for the Wizard of Oz is genius!!!  GENIUS!!

Tina Fey and a very dashing Bradley Cooper present the Award for Film Editing to Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.   Achievement in Sound Editing goes to Phillip Stockton and Eugene Gearty for Hugo.

Okay, I’ll say it.  The guys who won for Film Editing had it right…”Let’s get out of here…we’re editing.”  These are the boring awards, really.  At least for me. Sorry if that offends. 😦

Tina and Bradley stick around to give the award for Sound Mixing to Tom Fleischman and John Midgley for Hugo.

See?  I really need to see Hugo.  It’s just picking up a lot of awards right now.  Of course, they’re all technical awards.  We’ll see what happens for Director and Movie.

Just saw the first of the new JCP commercials with Ellen DeGeneres.  Okay, that one was okay.  I do hope they get better as they go along, though.  They should based on some of the photos and outtakes that have been floating around.

Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy!  Yay! Not enough Muppet time, darn it!

However, Cirque du Soleil is cool.  They’re just everywhere, now-a-days, aren’t they?  Are human beings supposed to be able to move like that?  I mean, we have spines and stuff.  Wow, Clooney seemed completely engrossed.  Stacy didn’t look as thrilled. LOL  Wow…the end looked like a scene from Bring It On…the cheerleading championship at the end.  Cool!

Gweneth Paltrow and Robert Downey Jr.  Okay, Really?  Gweneth?  I think she’s one of the victims of the Oscar curse…what has she done since she won for Shakespeare in Love?  Robert Downey Jr. is funny as always.  Okay, I’ll give Gweneth props for pulling off that schtick.  I retract the earlier “really” – but I’m still wondering what she’s done besides naming a kid Apple and singing on Glee.  the Award for Documentary feature goes to Undefeated.  Okay, the first time the music has played people off the stage for the evening…that’s not bad.

Oh, God.  Chris Rock.  This guy’s voice just annoys me.  He’s funny here…he hits it.  But his voice really annoys me.  He’s giving the award for Animated Feature Film to Gore Verbinski for Rango.

They keep showing Nick Nolte, which makes sense since he is a nominated actor.  Does anyone else think that he’s turning into a ringer for the alcoholic Santa from Miracle on 34th Street? He’s just getting puffy and his face is getting red and his hair is all white and he’s got that beard.  I really like Nick Nolte.  I just think he’s not looking his best right now.

Oh, Melissa McCarthy!  Too funny!

Ben Stiller and Emma Stone.  I love Emma Stone!  She’s very tall.  She does comedy so well.  OMG!  Her song is hysterical! Ben Stiller plays a really good straight man, actually.  That was probably the best pre-award banter/routine tonight.

So, the award for Visual Effects goes to the team from Hugo.  Again with Hugo.  The Harry Potter folks just never seem to have a chance with the Academy.  Ten years of amazing movies and they really just don’t get recognized by the awards shows like I think they should.  ALAN RICKMAN!  Where was his acting nomination?  Huh?  He’s the one actor in those movies that deserved a nomination.

Melissa Leo is here now to present the award for Best Supporting Actor.  What has Melissa done since winning for the Fighter last year?  Huh.  And, of course, the winner is Christopher Plummer.  He is now the oldest actor to ever win an Oscar.  I must see Beginners…I’ve heard phenomenal things about this movie.  Christopher is really giving a nice speech – thanks in the right places with humor in the right places.  Eighty-two years old and he’s totally got it!  Yay, Christopher!

Oh, more excellent comedy from Billy!  Okay…he hit the “what is Nick Nolte thinking?” right on the head!

President of the Academy.  It’s the biggest night of the year for you all?  Really?  I never would have known.  Ah, but it was a chance to see Meryl Streep looking lovely and golden.

“Thank you for whipping the crowd into a frenzy.”  Oh, Billy!  You totally said what I thought.

Penelope Cruz and Owen Wilson.  She’s hot…he’s a good actor.   They are presenting Original Score.  I’m thinking it will be Warhorse.  Based on what I’m hearing here, anyway, I think it will probably be The Artist or Hugo.  Everything seems to be Hugo these days.

Well, look at that.  It went to The Artist.  Personally, I was more impressed by Warhorse and Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.  But, I’m not really musically inclined.  Meh.

Ha!  Will Ferrell and Zack Galafinakis (sp?)…had to expect funny from these two.  Nice little poke at “It’s hard out here for a pimp.”  So, Best Original Song…they have a 50/50 chance of winning.  The award goes to “Man or Muppet” from The Muppets.  Nice to see the Muppets back in the spotlight.  There’s a shot of Jason Segal…he’s such a charming guy.  I really like him.

Ellen’s “Victorian England” commercial was, in fact, funnier.  Okay, really?  How do these commercials – specifically Ellen’s presence in them – promote homosexuality?  I wonder about some people and the things they protest sometimes.

I’m sorry, people…Angelina Jolie is still stunning.  She’s a bit too thin, but she’s stunning.   Her hair is beautiful and those lips – so read – are mesmerizing.  And can she show that leg just a bit more?  Mmmm.  This is the award for Adapted Screenplay.  And, no, Angelina does not need someone else to present with her.  The winner here is The Descendents.  The writers who won for adapted screenplay are also adapting Angelina’s pose…nice!  She’s Angelina!  She gets to present two awards all by herself.  This one now is for Original Screenplay.  I’d love to see Bridesmaids win here…but I doubt it will, sadly.  Yep…Woody Allen wins for Midnight in Paris.  I don’t understand the world’s fascination with Woody Allen.  He’s good.  I don’t think he’s all that great.  Meh.

Is that Sheila E up there bangin’ away on the drums?  Girl!

So now the Bridesmaids come along to award some Oscars.  Kristin Wiig and Maya Rudolph going on that “size does matter” and pontificating on the strengths and weaknesses of length is so typical of them…and funny.  The Short Film award goes to The Shore.

Rose Byrne and Melissa McCarthy bring back the Scorcese drinking game!  Awesome!  Short Subject Documentary is awarded to Saving Face.  (Did anyone else thing the sentence “It’s more important that the Pakistani on the stage speak” was just a little odd?  I mean I knew his intent, but it was just awkward.  I thought so, anyway.)

Wendy McLendon-Covey and Ellie Kemper were kinda boring. Huh.  She award for Short Film (Animated) is for The Fantastic Flying books of Mr. Morris lessmore.

I missed a bit of Michael Douglas presenting for Best Director – so I don’t know how he did.  But the award goes to Michel Hazanavicius for The Artist…as expected, actually.

Oh, here comes  Meryl Streep.  “Either the greatest actress of our time or the world’s greatest hoarder.”  HA!  That’s funny.  She gets to introduce the Governor’s awards.  James Earl Jones is a friggin amazing person.  I love him.  Oprah Winfrey…eh.  I’m really rather over her.  But, good for her.  Dick Smith did work on some great movies.  Excellent.

Oh, we’re coming up on the Memoriam for people who have died in the last year.  This part of the show is always interesting for me.  This is actually where I find out exactly who passed.  What’s really sad is that there are times when I say, “Didn’t s/he die years ago?”  Sad, truly sad.

Don’t they sing “What a Wonderful World” every year?

Jane Russell…I loved her!  Now SHE was a sex symbol!

How do they decide who gets to “speak” and who doesn’t?

Can someone explain why Steve Jobs is on this list?  I’m not being obnoxious.  I just really didn’t know that he was involved in the movie industry.

Jackie Cooper!  He was so damned cute.

See?  Here we go…Liz Taylor died within the last year?  I thought it was longer than that.  smh.

So now we’re down to Best Movie, Best Actor, and Best Actress, right?  Wow.  Unless there’s something really interesting still to come, they may actually finish this broadcast on time.  Sweet.  (Of course, I’ve probably just jinxed it.)

Promo for Ashley Judd in Missing.  Oh my goodness!  My heart just skipped a beat.

Natalie Portman.  She should not look that good after having a kid.  Damn her! This is the little girl from The Professional.  Amazing.  She’s here to present the award for Best Actor, which is awarded to (Natalie needs to not applaud into the microphone) Jean Dujardin…not really a surprise, actually.  He’s won every other award.  Yes, The Artist is one of those movies that I really need to see.

Jean Dujadin just seems like a really charming guy.  Though I don’t think he realizes that he needs to get himself backstage to the press room.

So, when the commercial is over, the award for Best Actress and then Best Movie.  The nominees must just be on edge.  It’s probably a good idea that there isn’t drinking at the Oscars.

The ancient Rome JCP commercial is funny.  That’s the best one so far.  Good stuff.

Colin Firth to present the Best Actress award.  I love me some Colin Firth!  I think I’d go straight for Colin Firth, too.  This has to go to Viola Davis.  Please, please it needs to go to Viola.  the others are fabulous actresses, but this one has to be for Viola.  UGH!!!   I love Meryl Streep, but that should have been Viola’s statue!! It really should have been.  *sigh*

OH MY GOSH!  Meryl heard my reaction! LOL

Okay…this is why she is Meryl Streep.  That was a wonderful acceptance speech.

Tom Cruise to present best movie?  Really?  REALLY?  Well, he does look good.  I wouldn’t go straight for him, but he looks good.

So…The Artist or Hugo?  Who’s going to get it?  I’d like to see The Help get it, but I know that won’t happen.  So, I think it’s between those two…The Artist and Hugo.  If it’s a different movie, I will be surprised.  Truly.

The Academy Award for Best Movie goes to The Artist…the little movie that could.  The first silent movie since, I believe, 1939 to win an Oscar.

Well, it looks like I did jinx it.  We’re currently 7 minutes over.   But, considering the past, that’s not too bad.

So now I have a pretty good list of movies that I definitely need to see.  Hugo and The Artist are top of the list.

Overall, I would say that this was a pretty good presentation of the awards.  There were no real “groaners”; things didn’t get offensive and disrespectful (except for Sacha Baron Cohen on the red carpet – what an asswipe.  In general, everyone looked beautiful – there were just a few misses.

So, well done, Academy.  See you next year.

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