Red Carpet Ruminations

(Be prepared for stream-of-consciousness writing here…I’m not really thinking this out and I’m not really editing.  Fair warning. Don’t expect good writing or fixed typos.)

So they started all of the red carpet stuff earlier than I had expected them to.  Really, how much of it was necessary?  So much was a rehash of what most news and entertainment channels have been repeating for weeks – Oscar predictions!!  Yes, yes, we know.  Christopher Plummer is on a tear and is pretty much a show-in for Best Supporting Actor.   Yes, yes, we know.  This is Meryl Streep’s 17th nomination…but she’s only won twice (Kramer Vs. Kramer and Sophie’s Choice).  Yes, yes, we know.  The Artist is the little film that could (only $12 million to make).

I’m flipping between ABC and E!  I think I’ll end up sticking with E!  There’s this weird high-pitch noise every time ABC comes back from commercial.  Plus, even with as cheesy as Ryan Seacrest, Giuliana Rancic, and Kelly Osbourne are, they’re still better than the people on ABC who are begging for the viewers to pay attention.

Guiliana’s dress is quite pretty…and she has the body to pull it off.  But I’m not feeling her hair..it’s too severe.  I think it’s okay to have an up-do, but it really needs to be more on the loose side.

Every time I see Kelly Osbourne, I wonder about her hair.  What color is that?  Gray?  Silver?  Lavender?  It’s just wrong.  Wrong.

Joan Rivers dressing Missy Pyle?!?!  OMG!  I’m so glad that is a bit and not real.  Missy Pyle is just all sorts of awesome.  Joan Rivers is really not.  She had her day.  Her day is over.  Her “fashion police” commentaries used to be on target and witty.  Now, they are just bitter and mean-spirited.  I think all the plastic surgery did something to her.

Okay…Natalie Portman doing a commercial for Miss Dior fragrance by Christian Dior.  Mmmmmmmmmm.

The live stuff starts up now and I’m firmly entrenched in the E! presentation of the red carpet.  As Ryan Seacrest said, they have “More cameras, More coverage, More fashion.”

There’s Penelope Ann Miller from The Artist.  Okay, she is not one of the actresses in Hollywood who is aging well.   The wide shots work for her – she has a nice body and can wear a dress nicely.  But the close ups show just how much she’s aged.  Poor Penny.  Fortunately, she’s a talented actress.  (Wow, that all sounded so catty.)

Missy Pyle looking rather nice in the winning dress from the Red Carpet Green Dress competition.  Apparently, this is an Eco-friendly dress (cruelty free silkworms were used).  Well, she looks nice in it.  It’s a very pretty color – Giuliana called it teal.  I think it’s more of a dark mint.  But that could just be my TV.

Milla Jovovich!!  She just looks better every time I see her.  She’s dressed perfectly – classic Hollywood.  Very stylish.

Wolfgang Puck explaining food in his cute little accent.  Look at the precious little oscars!

The Bridesmaids!!!  Rose Byrne looks really great!  Vivian Westood, Chanel fine jewelry, Jimmy Choo shoes.  Wow…she has that down.  Oh, and there’s Melissa McCarthy!  Wendy McLendon-Covey is also looking very nice.  Ellie Kember talking about kissing Wendy during the movie – and she highly recommends it!

Ohhhhh…Berenice Bejo (The Artist).  the woman really is quite beautiful.  She has a dazzling smile.  I’m not sure what I think of her dress.  It seems too busy – the sheer areas on her arms shouldn’t have all of that activity happening.  it should just be sheer, I think.  Again, the hair is too severe – it’s more whimsical than Giuliana’s hair, but it’s still very “in place” and strict.   But her make up I think is very nice.

Melissa McCarthy talking to Ryan Seacrest now.  Such a great personality.  I’m not liking her dress…at all.  She’s a large woman.  (For the record, so am I.)  This dress just simply does not flatter her. Her hair, however, is great…it’s up and away from her face, but it has some whimsy.

Shailene Woodley (The Descendants) – She’s only 20, what a great experience for her.  Again, another case of not really liking the dress.  I think it’s too old for her.   And again with the severe up-do!  Loosen up, people!

Now Kelly Osbourne is talking about Jessica Chastain as if she’s the next best thing to the red carpet.  It’s a pretty dress, but I do think it’s a little too busy with the gold.  Here’s a situation where she should have had her hair up…it looks too sloppy down the way it is.  Now she’s talking to Ryan Seacrest.  Close up, I don’t like the way the dress is fitting her – it’s strapless and it really looks like it’s cutting into her underarms.  How sweet that she brought her grandmother with her!  Awwww.  She’s a very good interviewer…very personable and down to earth.

They’re talking predictions.  Viewers have voted and believe that Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer will each win in their prospective categories.  I actually agree.  And I hope so!

Actually, let me go ahead and put my predictions  for the “big” awards out there – so it’s on record:

  • Best Picture: The Artist
  • Best Director: Michel Hazanavicius (The Artist)
  • Best Actor:  George Clooney
  • Best Actress:  Viola Davis
  • Best Supporting Actor:  Christopher Plummer
  • Best Supporting Actress:  Octavia Spencer
  • Best Original Score:  Warhorse

So now Ryan is talking to George Clooney.  Stacy Keibler is tall…or George is short.  Or both.  But the man tends to hang out with women he needs to look up to – literally.  And the viewers are predicting that George will win the Oscar.  I agree with them…let’s see how that holds out.

Demian Bichir – an actor that I’m not familiar with, sad to say.  But he brought his mom with him…so that’s sweet.

There’s a shot of Viola Davis in *green*!  Oh, I can’t wait until they spend a little more time talking to her…I want to see that dress!

It looks as though Maya Rudolph might be getting ready to talk with Ryan…I hope so.

Back from commercial and Ryan is talking to Viola Davis…who is looking great in Vera Wang!  The “girls” are looking good!  Wow!  She interviews so very well.  Okay…I love that dress.  I really do.  Her “main squeeze” is a good looking man.

Kelly and Giuliana have started drooling over Stacy Keibler.  Personally, I don’t get it.  Yeah, she’s a pretty woman.  Yeah, she has a nice figure.  Yeah, George Clooney makes her look good.  But she’s not all that.  I think the dress has too many flounces.  I don’t think she looks like “George’s statue” (how rude was that?).  She looks nice.  But that’s it.  Nice.

The spewing over Viola Davis, however, is fully deserved.  I love that Giuliana’s comment that Viola knows how to wear the dress has Kelly going immediately to the cut of the skirt.  But Giuliana is, like, “whoa! whoa!  a little higher!”   Come on, Kelly, get with the program!

There’s Michelle Williams in red…looking lovely.  I would have liked fewer ruffles, but she looks very, very nice.  It’s a good color for her.  And she brought BFF Busy Phillips…how sweet!

Rooney Mara in Givenchey.  She picked the dress this morning?!  Oy!  Well, I don’t like the dress.  No, that’s wrong.  I like the dress, just not on her.  She needs the darker colors.  She doesn’t have to wear black, but definitely some color.  She’s very fair skinned and the white of this dress contrasted with the black of her hair just makes her look pasty.

Viewers predict The Help will win Best Movie.  I hope they are right, but I think they’re wrong.

P. Diddy?  Really?  He’s still around?  He’s an ass.  Moving on.

Octavia Spencer – Lord that woman knows how to dress!  She looks amazing!  Gorgeous!  Stunning!  This is how a large woman should dress for the Oscars.  And look at the eye candy date!

Shot of Glenn Close looking very nice – almost looks like a hunter green, but they don’t spend much time on her.

(It’s dinner time and Mom is hungry, so I’m going back and forth between the TV and the stove.)

Okay, Kelly just needs to stop gushing over every friggin body that comes down the red carpet.  Kelly, Rooney is not all that.

So many people bring mothers and grandmothers – this time it’s Jonah Hill with his mom.  Is it just me?  Or are his tux, shirt, and tie all different shades of black?  Bad Jonah!

I love Maya Rudolph’s hair.  It’s loose and flowing, but not wild.  The dress is nice – not too busy with just the right amount of bling.  Good color.

Jean Dujardin is looking very sharp…but the tie looks like a different color black.  I do like his lapels.  He may have an interpreter there for the questions he is asked, but he answers in outstanding English.  I like him.

The Dictator – Sacha Baron Cohen is so damned overdone.  He’s an ass!  He just dumped a “urn” of ashes (Kim Jong Il) on Ryan…what an absolute imbecile this guy is!  Ryan definitely does not look pleased.  Wow…security is actually removing Cohen and getting him away from Ryan.  Good move.

Kristin Wiig and Anna Mumolo – writers of Bridesmaids.  Kristin’s dress is pretty, but the color is not good.  She looks completely washed out and the dress blends in with her skin.  Her hair looks a little too untamed.  Anna, however, looked great.  Fabulous green!

Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas!  Antonio always looks great.  I think I might be a straight girl for him, actually.  Melanie is dressed nicely, but she really needs to stop the plastic surgery.  She’s starting to look like Joan Rivers.

Emma Stone – one of the only redheads I’ve seen who can pull off a red dress like that.  It’s too reminiscent of Nicole Kidman (Hey!  They just said that too!  I could be on the red carpet with E!).  She looks really good in it, though.

Okay…not as much happening.  Looks like people are getting shuffled into the theatre to take their seats.

Looks like a good place to stop and post before the awards actually start.  And it will give my laptop time to recharge…since the battery completely died on me.  😦

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