Random thoughts

My quandary: Continue as is, make changes, or start over.

So, here’s the thing.  I wrote something.  Well, I started writing something – fan fiction.  I started it years ago.  I posted what I wrote as I went along and collected feedback from readers.  Most of it was good feedback.  It was encouraging.  The problem is, I stopped with chapter 14b.  I sort of left a cliff hanger.  That was in 2008.  YIKES!

I revisited the last few chapters of the story.  (I should probably revisit the entire thing.)  It’s not bad.  It’s not great…but it’s not bad.  Although, as I read it and remembered – as best I could – the earlier chapters, I started thinking of mistakes I’d made.

The dialogue is pretty good.  I think I was pretty solid there.  My character development was decent too.

My issue is that I don’t know where I want to take the story now.  Well, that’s not completely true.  I do know where I intended the story to go and I think it’s an okay direction.  I just don’t know how in love with it I am anymore.  I mean, do I really want to continue building up to the big reveal?  There’s been plenty of conflict thus far, but this would be the reveal of the BIG conflict.  The problem is, I just don’t know how big it really is anymore.  So, while I think I could write it, I’m not sure if it’s REALLY where I want it to go.

So we come to my quandary:  Do I continue the story from where I left off – giving the readers who haven’t had an update for 3 years the rest of the story that I originally started?  Or do I edit what I’ve written thus far and then continue with the remainder of the story?  Or do I just scrap what I have and start over?  Honestly, I don’t know if I want to completely start over.  After all, if I’m going to start from word one, I might as well write a new story – one that isn’t fan fiction, one that I could potentially submit for publication one day.  That is not to say that what I have written now couldn’t eventually be submitted – it would need some changes, obviously.  After all, some of the best lesbian fiction out there came from the world of fan fiction, so it’s certainly a valid place to start.

But starting over would also mean abandoning the story I started all together, and I don’t think I want to do that either.  I spent a lot of time on what I did write and I worked hard to make it good.  I also think of the time that watty spent beta-reading it for me – do I want to have all of her time be in vain too?  Plus, the readers who encouraged me with my first piece of fictional writing deserve something, right?  (Not that I expect any of them are out there waiting – holding their breath – with the hope that today will be the day Coming Back will be updated.  I know better than that.)

So, that’s where I stand right now.  In a quandary.  It’s a little lonely and a lot confusing.

I’ll have to do some serious thinking about this.


Coming Back

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